Conversation (3).

VL: I'm supposed to be the hothead and the bad Christian.
AL: Like your victim tweet, if you keep seeing yourself as the hothead and the bad Christian, you'll always be that.
VL: ..wow you read my tweets LOL

Disappointment.

People will let you down. It is in our inherent nature to forsake others in their time of need. How much faith you have invested in that person determines how much you'll care. But know this;

As long as you think you're a victim, you'll always be a victim.

The Road Less Travelled.

I don't know what triggered it, but tonight, when I look at who I've become in midst of all my flaws and all my mistakes, I can only say;

I've sure come a long way.

For once, I am at peace with seeing myself as;

..the naive child who believed in Hollywood stories,

..the lonely boy who couldn't balance his values against his temptations,

..and the bitter man who struggled with separating the past and the present.

Each one of those was a part of who I was, and therefore a part of who I am. And for once, instead of pointing out the self-pity amongst the wreckage of my road less travelled, I have begun to find the scattered pieces I've been searching for to build into the man I will become.

And deservedly so, I'm proud.

Real Talk (13).

War never shows who won, it just shows who left.

Real Talk (12).

Here's a good quote that came six months too late. Oh well, guess it applied at one point in time.

--
"I don't fight with you because I'm mad. Sometimes it seems like I'm fighting with you because you don't see that I'm fighting for you."

Desensitization.

Let me try and explain this with an analogy.

I remember when I first got my Blackberry. I was really, really careful with it, and everytime I accidentally dropped it, scratched it, or scuffed the corners, I felt terrible about it.

Since then I must have dropped it I don't know how many times; on carpet, on hardwood, on cement. The screen is scratched, the corners are nicked. And each drop now affects me less and less. I just don't have the capacity to care about it as much as I did before.

This process is called desensitization.

--
Today is Father's Day. I could sit here and write for hours about what my father means to me, but I'll just let my words be few.

Thank you.

Real Talk (11).

But he said to me,

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

- 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Real Talk (10).

How well do you really know me?

--
"Well enough to see you at your prime and your lowest. Well enough to know your flaws and your strengths. Well enough to know that despite it all, you've found God and have the potential to be beyond normal. I'm sure there's a lot that I don't know but there my trust in you comes in. I can trust you to know that you will at least try and keep trying."

Dear God.

..heal me.

--

Pick of the Day.

As you guys know, I auditioned for Gillette Drafted 3 last month. I went down for a live audition at Eaton's and then submitted an online tape with Clem's help. I won't hear back about the finalists until July but yesterday, Drafted made me the "Pick of the Day", which is assumed to be the "first cut". I think they'll pick the finalists from this pool after selecting one each day until the deadline.

So to all those that watched my tape, encouraged me, gave me feedback or just showed support, I am truly grateful. I'm one step closer, so keep your fingers crossed for me.

Check out the post here: http://www.drafted.ca/blog/2011/06/13/pick-of-the-day-victor-lu/

Brotherhood.

When I fall apart, these guys pick up the pieces.

missing: jc

Afterglow.

And that's just how life goes; you love for a while then the light goes.

I fought for you and I fought with you just as much. And though I may have found the peace that I was searching for, I know that holding onto it will be the hardest part.

This is sad.

Anything short of that would be a lie. But all the mistakes, the criticism and the blame that we've both been a part of in the past.. let's just leave all of it there. From here on, we're going dream-chasing in different directions, and God-willing, maybe we'll arrive at the same place, maybe not. But just as you said to me;

"Let it go, Vic. If it's meant to be, it will come back."

How To Love.

My last night of freedom, and I'm just chillin' here to good music. Gotta give credit where credit is due; Fi showed me this track, and I just thought I'd share. Enjoy, kids.

--

New Love Is So Beautiful, Time Just Makes It Ugly.

This is looking like my last few days off before I once again become enveloped by this so called career I'm chasing. I wanted to write something insightful, but I guess my mind is just all over the place right now. So I figured, why not just jot some thoughts down?

- Am I really angry with God? Yeah. Have I been testing him? Probably. Is this just me standing here whining like a child, petulantly sticking up my bottom lip and telling him to give me his best shot? I don't really know. Maybe when it comes to him, I'm bi-polar. But if you have something to say, say it now. Cus I'm actually listening this time; I'm all ears God.

- Hold that thought. So I'm not right with God, but I still lead others in devos and worship. Does that make me a hypocrite? At least I'm honest about it.

- When did I start putting up with rude, inconsiderate people? Oh yeah, never. Careful, your true colours are showing.

- While we're on that topic, haters gon hate. Let me address you by letting you watch me succeed.

- I figure the older we grow, the more we need act like kids sometimes to remind ourselves life isn't as complicated as we make it to be.

- What is real leadership? I guess I'm still learning, but nobody can accuse me of not trying.

- I used to always let chances pass me by thinking I'll always have another one. No more.

- Let me give the best that I can. That way, I'll never have to worry about whether I could have done more.

- Do nice guys really finish last? Maybe I gotta start being more of an ass. Just sayin'.

- Find your limits, and then push past them. Why would you ever let anyone tell you you can't?